Feed Me those Fabulous Fermented Foods

Here's a lovely list of fermented foods that you can eat, and are actually good for you because they have probiotics, as long as you don't let them go bad
(like that soft cheese I had once - I was up all night - turned me off brie for a while there).
Usually these are fermented with bacteria or yeast.


Good Fermented Foods with Probiotics:
-miso, as in miso soup - made of fermented soybean paste

Miso soup, or as it is called in Korean, doenjang.  (Source: http://www.asianskinny.com/2012/03/31/recipe-for-doenjang-korean-miso-soup/)
-yogurt

(Source, which I'm including because the above pic comes also in a larger size and the details are pretty awesome: http://www.kimptonhotels.com/epk/images/kimpton_yogurt-berry_parfait.jpg)

-soft cheese

Taleggio-Stuffed Mushrooms (original recipe at: http://sweetlifelaur.com/2010/09/08/taleggio-stuffed-mushrooms/)

-milk with probiotics (so if my milk goes bad I can drink it?  probably not... it would taste really bad... They're probably talking about adding good bacteria, but the bacteria when milk goes bad is probably something that would be bad for you...), including buttermilk.  Also called cultured milk.
 which of course is a direct neuron snap to...

buttermilk pancakes! cooking it would kill the bacteria though, but you could just wash down the pancakes    with a swig of buttermilk, so a win-win!

-kimchi - Korean fermented cabbage,  spicy

-sauerkraut - German fermented cabbage, make sure it's not pasteurized

-kefir - yogurt drink with yeast.  I want to try this.  It sounds kind of cool and historical - like, first discovered by shepherds how cool is that!  I'm going to start rationing my use of 'cool' I think.

(pronounced kuh-feer)

-sourdough bread - huh!

-sour pickles - made without vinegar, but salt water - 'naturally fermented' - I didn't even know that existed!  Coooool.

-tempeh - gross! bleh!  hate it!  made from fermented soybeans.  Pronounced tem-pey.  Below: spicy Asian tempeh with sweet potatoes.

-pills with probiotic supplements - pills suck

-beer - oh dios mio olvido la cerveza!  but does it have probiotics?  still good for you if it has alcohol in it?  maybe the alcohol sterilizes the bacteria or yeast (probably yeast) so no benefits for your intestines?).  Like sauerkraut, if pasteurized you don't get any of that lovely bacteria.

OK so the deal on beer is: most kinds do not qualify as having probiotic benefits.  Only special beers... This person explains it pretty well, or at least tolerably...considering his username contains the word 'Mayor'..., unless they're making it all up, which could be the case:

"
If it is a live beer it can have similar effects...trust me I'm a home brewer. I have to laugh because I was just talking about this with my wife a few days ago when an Activia commercial came on. I pondered just how bad my restroom breaks would be if I tried both.

By live beer, I mean a bottle conditioned beer that hasn't been pasteurized and has a yeast cake at the bottom of the bottle. Chimay and Hoegaarden would be two widely available versions. The yeast is full of B vitamins and will help clean out your system if you know what I mean.
"
(Source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101203134707AADtD1d)

so even though it's usually not an actual source, only in special circumstances, you still get a pic:
 yay!

-soy sauce - made with fermented soy and wheat and salt.  Does the salt kill the beneficial bacteria?  Also a concern for miso soup bc it's so salty, which is one of the reasons usually I don't like miso soup as it comes in restaurants because too salty!

(is this exhaustive?  I don't know but I'm exhausted, so I'm going to say it is...Actually I'm not, I'm just pretending to be exhausted so I can trick my body into falling asleep hahahahahnot funny ok whatever.)


note: prebiotics are foods that are good for the good bacteria already living inside you, in your small intestines, and yes they are living inside you.  You are their host.  Isn't that cool?  Examples that I'd actually like to eat: honey, oatmeal, bananas, red wine, legumes (aka peanut - it's not a nut! soooo pea-legume... sounds like a lagoon where the Pee-monster lives....Illustration needed! lol) (see below)


Maybe all this sour stuff that is good for you is why humans like the taste of something sour?  Because sweet fruit is good but sour fruit is bad so why, evolutionarily would we like sourness? (maybe another post...)

Bibliography (for the list of foods with probiotics):
"Top Foods with Probiotics" (slideshow) by WebMD. WWW: http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/probiotics-10/default.htm


The following is a photo montage beginning with the humble peanut and transitioning into its natural thematic complement, fictional (?) water creatures who live in lagoons:


From http://www.thispeanutlookslikeaduck.com/quack/, a website devoted to collecting pictures of things that look 'like a duck'

chipmunk with a peanut.  That's either a small chipmunk or a large peanut! awwwwww

i love pb too, moose!  and yes, that much!

Our peanuts are so fucking big, they'll choke you!  Buy some today!

Why waste all that good fresh water cleaning your jars before recycling them when you can call
Georgie, the Corgi with a really long tongue!

i don't quite get this one but....

Product Description (and I quote!):
"
Turn your baby into your favorite snack food with this funny infant peanut costume. The baby costume is made of polyfoam with arm holes, leg holes, and an opening for your child's face. The costume is light brown with dark brown squares printed throughout. The back velcros shut for easy on and off. Perfect for your little peanut!
"
-What?  I'm still stuck on "Turn your baby into your favorite snack food."  No, don't!  Just go to Pathmark!  Why create more tempation to consume your own offspring?

(Source: "Funny Infant Peanut Costume" on ChildrensHalloweenCostumes.com. WWW: http://www.childrenshalloweencostumes.com/funny-infant-peanut-costume.html )


From the movie "The Creature from the Black Lagoon."  Show em the whites of your eyes, son!



A toy version of the same monster

I'm....too sexy for my thorax...too sexy for my webbed hands...so sexy i mooolllllttt

says it's an ad for a boat company.  i'm going to go ahead and call their bluff and say it's the freewheeling imaginings of a freelance graphic designer with a healthy interest in mythical sea-creatures, not unlike myself. i mean, i don't see a boat, do you?

gotta commend the good lasso-work on this one.  Who doesn't want a little Renaissance painting by Philippe de Champaigne (1602-1674) in their guppy tank?